Sunday Morning Rambles

On my bed, Sunday 22nd October 2006. 11.47 am.

Missed church again, as I have repeatedly done in the last 10 months.

Oh! I am beginning to think I've lost my identity, the definition of who I really am. I shouldnt sure exist for 'Nothing'; I must either be for God or for the Pub, no pun intended.

As a Naija, we were raised to think that you are either for God or for the devil, it has become absolutely impossible to rid my subconscious of this early life moral. Little wonder I wake up feeling guilty every Sunday morning for not attending a church service .

I've been to church only 4 times in the last 10 months, and of these 4, only once did I willingly go on my own, the other 3 times, I was dragged along by 'force' if you know what I mean.

Why havent I been motivated to attend church services?, is it because I havent found a church that meets my need? Maybe I need to look deep inside and re-define my religion. Whatever the answer is, I know I have often mused about the following in the last couple of months:

• I need a praying church, not an elegant one
• I need a church that dwells more on deep biblical teachings than on demons, leadership training or wealth creation
• I dont like churches that use miracles or beautiful architechure to attract members
• I prefer to sing hymns the orthodox way
• I dont like churches with members worshiping the leader rather than God
• I prefer a simple Pastor to a flamboyant Bishop
• I dont like it when a pastor proportionates my 'tithing' to my making it in life. (I am sure Warren Buffet, Alan Sugar dont pay tithes.)

Maybe I just need a deliverance, to be purged of the 'dont-go-to-church' demon that's living in me.

I am sure next Sunday wont meet me at home, lazing away idly on my bed.

I'd find a church- A good one.